the machine as are in good working condition and can be adapted to her purposes.

If we add to this hypothesis the ingredient that I've already mentioned: "too much acceptance"-then the transformation becomes a snowball. And when I say "too much acceptance” I not only refer to acceptance from others, but from one's very own self. One becomes dissatisfied with one's masculine role in looks as well as in performance. Unlike the transsexual who has never been able to function as a man-who, and most of them admit it—have been failures as men—the TV who reaches the full-time stage may look back to his masculine performance: as husband, money earner, etc . . . and usually can say that—by accepted standards, he has not been a failure. He has done pretty well. He can even remember that there were many occasions when he was actually happy as a man. But now there's something new in the horizon—a new challenge (this is basically a masculine concept) can he forge ahead as a "she"? can he create a good life as a woman? Personally I have enough self-confidence to believe that Susanna can be a very happy human being without "him". The concept of mutual cooperation be- tween him and her has perhaps reached a super-ironic twist. He says "I want to cooperate with you so much, that I am willing to divest my- self of my reality and let you use it as you see fit, change it, mold it, reshape it, eliminate from it whatever traits you wish. Rearrange my psychological molecules to your taste. Use my talents and my experience to your ends. Turn me into a memory. I'll be you."-That's how strong Susanna is.

I feel that this stage would not have come into being if I had not been able to "pass." I would have been forced then to be a part-time girl. The house, my domain-life outdoors; his. Please do not take this statement as boastfulness. As a matter of fact I am “read” once in a while. And this of course has been an additional challenge towards self improve- ment-to better and improve Susanna's image so that the day will come when she will never be read. If I had not received such enthusiastic acceptance from relatives and friends-if, instead, I had been made to feel "unwelcome" as Susanna, then Susanna would have probably remained within a rather restricted little world of her own. And here's an odd fact: "he" has never wanted to make friends . . . he practically has none pleasant acquaintances, friendly co-workers, yes . . . but no friends. Perhaps Susanna has had a hand in this situation, too . . . her constant presence within has probably acted as a deterrent upon him, so he never has felt he can give of himself as much as a true friend should. Susanna is exactly the opposite. She radiates friendliness. . . she wants

•

83